I was at a wedding expo on the weekend and met a bride who’s having a “bridesman” instead of a “bridesmaid” and he’s going to wear a purple suit! It sounded so fabulously different, it made me think of other wedding traditions people should break.
As a celebrant, I speak to a lot of brides and they all have similar concerns about what “traditional” elements they SHOULD include in their wedding. They worry and stress over everyone else’s expectations instead of focusing on what really holds meaning for them. This leads to compromising and resenting their day is no longer theirs.
I find this enormously sad because it means they make the one day that SHOULD BE ABOUT THEM, about everyone else.
So for those of you who aren’t afraid to make your day YOURS, here are 5 traditions you can shatter on your day.
1 – Walk yourself down the aisle. You’re the one person who will always be by your side so stand proud! It also solves the problem if you have too many people competing for the job.
2 – Embrace your bridal party. So many brides worry about uneven numbers in the bridal party. If you have 3 bridesmaids, but he only has 2 groomsmen, who cares? No, it does not look funny – choosing the people you really want to stand next to you will never look funny. And don’t be afraid to mix up the genders. There are no gender roles anymore and it’s far more important to have the people you really want sharing that special moment with you.
3 – Embrace the colour wheel. Many brides love the traditional aspect of wearing white. It stems back to Queen Victoria so it’s been around for a long time. Don’t be afraid to embrace colour into your wedding dress. I wore a red dress and love the fact I can wear it again!
4 – Ditch the “I do”. Saying “I do” is nothing more than us being conditioned that it’s part and parcel of a wedding ceremony. It isn’t! People say it because they think they should, rather than really feeling it. Some love the tradition of it, but for a lot of people, it just doesn’t reflect them. Mix it up – say what you like. How about throwing in a “Yes,” “Yee-hah,” “Absolutely,” or “You bet-cha.” And, for those that are so excited to be agreeing to marry the love of their life, embrace the moment with a “You’d better believe it.”
5 – Redesign the reception. Receptions can quickly spiral out of control because everyone throws their two cents worth in. Suddenly, your intimate wedding of 40 is now up to 80! The reception is your chance to celebrate your way. It doesn’t have to be epic – it just has to reflect you! I’m marrying a good friend in a few weeks and their reception will be a banquet at the local Thai restaurant. It will be good food, good wine and great company and that’s what your reception should be!
There’s nothing worse than looking back at your wedding with regrets. Remember, it’s the one day that you should do everything you want, how you want it. It goes so very quickly, so don’t let the moment pass you by. As someone very wise once said, “Do what you want to do, be what you want to be, yeah!”